These songs aren't really songs, they are cracked mirrors of sound reflecting my life as a death-door drug addict living in downtown Los Angeles and losing touch with pretty much everything worth holding onto. Addiction and mental illness are galaxies light years from our understanding. Maybe one day I will get there, maybe not. I know it has to do with obsession, loss, grief, and of course there always death. It has to do with staring at whatever is looking back at you in the mirror. I'm trying to paint this self-portrait with sound, with last nights trash, with hangover memories, marlboro red smoke, and wasted years. It takes a lot of energy to destroy yourself, to destroy your body, to sculpt your soul into thin air.
This is what it sounded like when I was running out of time. This is what it felt like down in that low part of my heartbeat. This is what it sounded like when I was forgetting, blacking out, getting high, coming down, and drifting off into whatever void would have me. This is what it sounded like when I was trying to find my way anywhere but home. This is what it sounds like to waste a life in the 21st century.
I’m alive, but how much of me is left? How do I live with myself? How do we live with each other? Beyond all these questions is a silence worth finding, a spirit worth getting lost with.
Here's to the one's who lost touch and never came back.
Poem From Bunker Hill
Alone on the sunrise
Nothing but the night
Even in the daylight
Drugs are gone
Dealers phone is off
And I'm on 1%
It seems like I got everything but time
Looking for the last light in this
For a hope unending
Broken sound made
Of bandaged memory
A wallet of insufficient funds
A black out in the country inside
Painting the walls Marlboro Red
My lungs are having a going out of business sale
The street's a dead vein
This is a view from a heartbeat
released December 18, 2019
Jordan Sullivan - Guitar, Piano, Vocals
Joseph Oxley - Trumpet
All songs by Jordan Sullivan, except Rented Rooms, Skid Row, Alone On Los Angeles Street, 7AM Comedown, and Low Sun by Jordan Sullivan & Joseph Oxley.
All Songs Produced & Recorded by Jordan Sullivan
Album Cover Painting & Design by Jordan Sullivan